My Plan, His Plan

I have a tendency to over react or quickly react to situations as they arise.  I can honestly say, I've gotten a lot better by not doing so over the past few months, but I'm still a work in progress.  Thankfully, my Lord and heavenly father knows this and is helping me to react less more and more.  It took me a long while to realize I was reacting this way and he grabbed my attention...

I'm a planner at heart.  I can't function if I don't plan my day out.  I can plan the heck of anything or everything; and have issues when things didn't go according to my plan.  I even planned my life before I had a chance to live it; getting married by a certain age, having children, buying my first house, getting my education and buying my car and the list can go on and on.  As I was busy planning I forgot to do one essential thing or better yet I thought I knew better, I didn't seriously pray about my plans.  Yes, I prayed, but if God took too long doing what I thought he should do, I was quick to react and do it my way.

Last summer, I'm not sure who was more fed up with my quickness, him or me, either way I was placed in a situation to get my attention.  As I went through this, my foundation was shaken to its core.  As, I've stated in a previous post, my days were filled with autonomy and my nights were mainly sleepless.  The more I tried to survive on my own, the more I sank.  I did my best to save face at all cost, because I didn't want to have to talk about it.  He knew better than I and placed angels in my life to offer me love, encouragement and support.  One angel who has been in my life since she was born, kept asking me if I was alright.  It was at that moment I knew I had to get myself together; if not for me, then for her. 

So, I began to pray and give all my anxiety and worries over to him.  As I prayed, I relied on him for his wisdom in finding a therapist.  I was blessed to find one and she helped me work through my issues in a non judgmental way.  I began to start my days with daily devotions and asking for his guidance throughout my day.  I repeatedly asked for forgiveness of all my sins and asked for his help and guidance to discontinue these acts.  He began to minister to me in ways I hadn't previously paid attention to.  I attended church more frequently and I'm so glad I did, for it was at church I had an epiphany.  The pastor was preaching about unshakable faith and as I sat and listened the more it dawned on me that my faith had been shaken.  With a tear stained face, I continued to listen and vowed to renew my faith in my savior.  I wanted to have unshakable faith, faith in things unseen. My faith continues to grow stronger and more faithful everyday. 

Now that I look back on that experience of my life, it's easier to do so.  Time has passed and I've had time to mend, heal.  I've also had time to reflect on my actions and take responsibility for them.  I'm continuing to pray daily,  be guided by him and rely on him for he is the ultimate planner of my life.  Most importantly, I've learned valuable lessons, life is more livable and joy filled with his guidance.  I will also say this, I'm not naive to think my life will be attack free.  I know they will continue to happen, but I also know it's for his purpose and plan!

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

My Fire Walk

As I sit to write this, I'm having a hard time formulating my words.  What I'm about to say is difficult for me, but this is my journey and I feel it's time to talk about.  This is my fire walk...

For so long, I had issues with my stomach and was told by medical professionals it was nothing serious and to watch my diet.  I followed their advice and still had issues.  I began to think my symptoms were unbelievable, so why bother talking about them.

October 2009, things took a turn for the worse.  I suffered a painful stomach attack and sought medical attention at a local emergency room.  They were unsure of my problem and referred me to a gastroenterologist if my symptoms returned.  They did in fact returned two days later, prompting me to call the gastroenterologist. I was immediately scheduled to have a medical test the following week.  I had the test and  was diagnosed with having a peptic ulcer.  I was relieved to learn the cause of my painful symptoms and began taking medication daily to combat my ulcer. March 2010, I learned my ulcer was healed and I had to continue to take medication daily to keep it at bay, which was a small scarifice to me.  I was willing to do what I had to, so I wouldn't have another ulcer.

As the months went, my stomach stilled bothered me from time to time.  For a while I thought it was due to stress, cause my stress level was off the charts at the time.  Then I would have several days of relief and think all was well.  March 2011, I had my first nausea and vomiting episode, which I contributed to sinus drainage. I thought it was because of my current stomach issues, what else could it have been?  After all, I knew what I had and I knew I was healed, so it never dawned on me there was either something else wrong or my ulcer had returned.

Fast forward to June 2011 and I learned my daily medication wasn't approved to be refilled at the pharmacists.  I called the doctor's office and was told I needed to be seen in the office in order to renew my prescription, so I scheduled an appointment.  During my appointment, I discussed my symptoms with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it could be a number of things.  She also warned me I may have to endure several kinds of tests before we knew what the problem was.  She suggested another kind of test, to see how my stomach functioned. Most important of all, she also encouraged me to inform her when I had another sick spell.

A few weeks later I had the stomach functioning test.  The result was I had a delay in the upper portion of my stomach, so another type of medication was prescribed.  Which I had to take an half hour before each meal.  At first it began to work, after a couple of weeks it was no longer working.  Then I had another sick episode while at work, causing me to have to leave.  I called the doctor's office and was told if the problems persisted I would need to go to the emergency room.  That wasn't something I wanted to hear, thankfully I began to feel better and returned to work the next day.

More weeks past and my nausea symptoms weren't getting any better.  I was nauseous from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.  I had another sick spell at work and I stayed at work, that was a long and tough day.  Somehow I survived.  I called the doctor's office and talked with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it was time to have the same test I had almost two years ago.  She wanted to make sure I didn't have another ulcer.  I scheduled the test and a week later, I had the test.  I was once again relieved to learn I didn't have another ulcer, but the doctor wanted to have another test done on my gall bladder.  A test he described as a stress test for the gall bladder.

I had the gall bladder stress test about a week later.  Once the test was done, I had a feeling the news wasn't going to be good.  A couple of days later, I learned my gall bladder was no longer functioning at full capacity and the next step was to have surgery.  I was referred to a surgeon and scheduled an appointment with him the following week. 

Once again, hearing I had to have surgery were words I didn't want to hear.  I cried like a baby, for most of the day.  The last thing I wanted was to be cut on yet again and have nothing but scars to show for it.  This wasn't my first time at the surgery rodeo, so I knew what to expect and that in itself caused me to be adamant not to have surgery ever again.  Well those thoughts soon went out of the window, as my crying moment passed.  I accepted what was ahead of me and if this helped me to feel better, I was all for it.

I met with the surgeon and discussed with him what I had experienced over the last few months.  He informed me I was very sick and surgery was the best option.  The surgery would be done on an outpatient basis, and I should be home that evening.  Thank goodness I had my time to accept this fact.  Surgery was scheduled exactly a week later.  I had my pre-op appointment a few days later to meet with an anesthesiologist and nurse about my surgery.  During this appointment I told the anesthesiologist I usually get sick from anesthesia, he informed me there was medicine for that.  I had my doubts about not getting sick, but I pressed on.

Surgery day arrived and I was cool, calm, collected and ready to get the show on the road.  The show began on time and from what I was told surgery went well.  It was after surgery while I was in recovery, when I faced an uphill battle.  I did indeed get sick from the anesthesia as I predicted, causing me to vomit.  That's the last thing I needed to do, especially with four fresh new incisions on my stomach.  I was pumped full of more medicine to keep me sleeping and after two hours in the recovery I was admitted to the hospital for observation.  When I finally awoke I was told I was being admitted, which took the little wind I had left out of my sail.  Reason being, I knew if I stayed I would have to spend the night in the hospital alone.  Given the fact I had an eventful afternoon, I could only imagine what would happen during a one night stay in the hospital.  I began praying that I wouldn't have to spend the night, thankfully my prayers were answered.  I was released from the hospital cause I was able to eat and drink.

My recovery began on the ride home, it had been almost twenty years the last time I had surgery and I had forgotten some things.  I forgot the pain, soreness and tenderness I could feel.  I was quickly reminded on the car ride home. My recovery is still ongoing, it's three weeks later and I'm still sore and tender at times.  Even though, I have began to resume some of my activities, I still have to take it easy.  As I was reminded at my post-op doctor's appointment, the surgery I had is considered major surgery.  It may be four to six more weeks before I can tell a major difference.  I also have to combat the itching I feel in my incisions from time to time.  I know itching is a good sign and means I'm mending, healing.  

Something else I'm facing, is the fact I have four new scars on my stomach. In my mind I know scars are superficial, but the human side of me feels differently.  I wonder if I can still be considered beautiful with a stomach full of scars?  

As I continue my mending process, I pray this was indeed my last surgery.  I also pray that even though, I have a stomach full of scars I will be called and feel beautiful again one day.  I also pray now that my bad gall bladder is gone I will begin to feel better physically.  I'm also praying nausea will continue to make its exit from my life.  Most importantly I pray I continue to mend and heal.

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

A Tribute

Twenty eight years ago on this day, I was blessed with a precious gem!!!  A precious gem that has become more and more precious to me, a precious gem that has taught me numerous things and a precious gem that I love with all my heart.   This precious gem is my youngest and only sister; I’m so thankful and blessed to have her in my life!!!

As she made her debut into the world, I was miles away.  Unfortunately I can’t recall my feelings of being told she was here, but I can recall my feelings I had when I saw her for the first time.  I remember getting out of the car, returning home from being away for what felt like years and being greeted by our mother who was holding this precious gem in her arms.  When my eyes lay upon hers, I fell in love instantly and have been ever since!!

To my sister and precious gem this is all I have to say on your twenty eighth birthday, I love you and wishing you the happiest of happiest birthday wishes!!!!  I have nothing but love and admiration for you, my precious gem!!!!

Love, 

Your Sister

A Man After His Own Heart

But now your kingdom will not endure, the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the Lord's command.  1 Samuel 13:14

When I learned we would be studying someone from the bible this summer at church, I wasn’t a happy camper.  One reason was the name alone didn’t have a pleasant taste to my palate, and the other reason was I didn’t think I had anything in common with this person.  I focused on his negative attributes, instead of keeping an open mind. 

The first sermon I heard, I barely paid attention.  I skipped church the following week all together.  I made it to church this past weekend with a heavy heart and I was enlightened; praise and worship was awesome and I sang from my heart.  As pastor began his sermon all I could think was this should be interesting and it was.  He went on to tell how this person loved the Lord with all his might and trusted him.  He was a fierce fighter, poetic writer and became king of a nation.  The Lord was delighted with him and loved him even when he failed, for he was a man after his own heart. 

As I listened, I realized I had more in common with this person than I originally thought.  I was too busy focusing on his flaws instead of seeing why he was a man after my Lord’s heart.  He was a flawed human, whom loved the Lord and was willing to listen and be patient on him, the same as me.  I have a lot to learn from David, he’s an example of how my relationship with God can and should be.  My prayer as I grow in my walk with my Lord, is I’ll be able to love and trust him with as much fervor as the one after his own heart did.

Sincerely,

DWIC2S

Doing What I Can 2 Survive - Part II

Well I find myself at the same exact crossroads I was at a year ago, around the exact same time.  If someone had told me this would be happening to me yet again, I wouldn’t have believed them for a minute.  I’ve strived to heal and mend from a year ago, that it would be unfathomable for this to be happening again.  As I sit and type, I can attest, it is happening yet again.  The circumstances are different, but the pain is pain.  A real pain, I wish on no one.

A year ago, several events happened causing my mind and emotions to spin out of control, but one event sent me into an abyss I didn’t know existed.  For weeks, I was numb to my surroundings and surviving on autopilot.  My days were filled with autonomy and my nights were sleepless and long.  Tears became my companion, in an effort to alleviate my pain.  God placed angels in my life to offer me encouragement; I can admit it now, there were times when I wasn’t too receptive to them.  Slowly but surely I began to see the light, with his help and guidance.  He began to mend my wounds, he bandaged those that needed it and I set forth with my healing.  As I came out on the other side, I began to breathe and appreciate all his gifts he had to offer me.  Even during my time of unrest, he began preparing me and speaking to me about things I didn’t think would happen for me. 

It’s amazing how good you feel when you have a shot at a little piece of happiness.  For a few months, I felt like my world was stable and I too finally had been blessed with a blessing one reads about.  My smile was wider and my heart was overjoyed.  All the while I was thankful and giving God the glory for bringing this into my life, especially at the time he did.  I even believed he was speaking to me and guiding me through.  Maybe he is and is still guiding me, one thing I have learned…he knows all and reveals things in his timing.  I loved what I was feeling and when the feeling came to an end this past weekend, my emotions were on overload.  This time around, I allowed myself to express my feelings immediately, instead of waiting as I did last year ago.  Once again, he’s placed angels near me to offer me encouragement.  This time around, I’m more receptive to them and thanking them for being my venting board as I work my way through my maze of pain.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds.  I may be fine, I may not.  I do know my faith in my Father hasn’t wavered; he has a purpose and a destiny for me.  Most importantly, no one can stop the blessings he has prepared for me and preparing me for.  I’m going to continue to rely on him, be patient and be led by him, for he hasn’t brought me this far, to leave me now…

Yours truly,

DWIC2S

Happy Father's Day

Father’s Day is a day designated to celebrate fathers and this year I’m especially looking forward to celebrate mine.  I was grown when I was blessed with my father over five years ago.  He had met, fell in love with and married my mother.  Not only did he love and marry my mother; he immediately loved me, my brother and sister as his own.  He affectionately began referring to us as his children.

For so long, I thought I would never know what it is like to be loved, encouraged and adored by my father; but I’ve been blessed with him and I've truly grown to love, respect, cherish and appreciate him!!!  Even though, he’s only been in my life for a few years, it seems as though he’s been a part of my life since the beginning.  He’s become my ally on the battlefield as attacks happen.  If I need prayers, he’s one my prayer warriors I rely on.  If I’m in need, I know he’ll do his best to supply.   I know if he can, he would move mountains to make sure I had everything I desire.  I’m so grateful the Lord found favor to bless my life with you.  I’m wishing you the happiest of happiest Father’s Day, this year!!

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

My Passion For Reading

I’ve always love to read, either for school or for my reading pleasure.  As a child I would read and was swept away as the stories unfolded before my eyes.  Some stories I remembered almost detail by detail, others are a little more muddled.  I even enjoyed a handful of books I had to read for school.  As, I grew older, my pleasurable reading took a hiatus because I felt I had more important things to accomplish …;)

A few years ago, I decided to read again.  I searched for what felt like forever, to find a book I truly enjoyed.  Finally one day, I received an email from a friend about an author’s new book being released later that summer.  It sounded interesting and I requested it from the library (Note: At the time I refused to buy books, if I could check them out at the library for free;). Times have since changed, which is another story, for another day…).  The book was excellent and peeked my interest in another character whom I was introduced to while reading.  I waited a few months before I investigated the other character’s story; I was elated when I learned his story was apart of a series.  Once again, I found myself requesting books from the library and my reading frenzy began.  

I read the prologue and first chapter of the first book in the series and didn’t understand what the big hype was about.  I turned the page to chapter two and I was hooked, baby!!!  It took me a few days to finish book one, and I was chomping at the bits to get book two in my hands, which I read in one night.  Book three I read just as fast, by the time I made it to book four I was on a roll.  Book five had me on pins and needles as I read, so when I made to book six I was surprised the story centered on another character, which I met in book one and made appearances throughout the series.  The series is still going and so is my reading frenzy!!!

I told this story, to inform of my joys of reading and how I found myself passionately reading again.  I also love discussing what I read and writing book reviews.  This month I'll be posting a few book reviews.  My first book review on my blog will be on Fast Break by Regina Hart.  Please keep an eye out...

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

This bible verse has been on my heart for days and I wasn’t sure why.  I thought it was because this verse has been my saving grace numerous times.   Especially last summer when Satan was busy attacking me and my faith was shaken.   I didn’t know which way to turn, but God knew.  He knew to place in the right place at the right time, to hear a sermon on how important unshakable faith is.  I remember the pastor delivering his sermon and as he spoke, it was as if he was speaking directly and only to me.  I had an aha moment, sitting and listening with tears running down my face, I knew I had to rebuild my faith in him. Which I immediately began doing.

As I look back on that memory, I’m thankful he had me in a place to hear that sermon.  Since then, I’ve often prayed and asked him to allow me to offer the same faithful words to others if they needed.  My time came yesterday, when I received some news from a dear friend.  As we talked, she informed me she didn’t know if she no longer had faith.  I began to tell her of my aha moment and lead her to this bible verse.  I also reminded her, Satan is always going to be on the attack for followers and believers of God, and one way he attacks is to shake our faith.  Causing us to give up on our faith in him, but the devil is a lie!!  I encouraged her, to begin to rebuild her faith.  I suggested she begin to talk to him, as her children do with her, for he’s always listening to his children and be patient to see what happens next.

While I know I’m a continued work in progress, I also know he’s delighted to have me as his child!!!  I’m thankful he gave me an opportunity to share how magnificent his faithfulness is.  As I mature, I pray I can continue to nurture my faith in him, for it’s truly the substance of things hoped for…

Sincerely,

DWIC2S

Faith Walks

As a child of God, we’re sometimes encouraged to walk by faith.  The bible is full of these stories.  At the time, we have no idea what can happen, it’s because of our faith we endure.  Faith walks can have long lasting effects and in his timing all is revealed… 

I have many recollections of faith walks my mother took and teaching her children to do the same.  This is one of those walks, I’ve been remembering more and more lately.  At the time my mother was faced with many decisions as her life was on an ever ending cycle of change.  She was recently separated from my father, a mother of three children and jobless.  All she was skilled at was providing a loving home for her children and husband.  She made the pain staking decision to learn a trade in order to get a job to provide for her family.  This meant she had to find a place or someone to care for her three children.   

She began her search and found a daycare center, not too far from our home by the name of King’s Daycare and to her relief it was a Christian daycare.  She spoke with the director about getting all three of us enrolled.  For a moment the director hesitated, and then she asked my mother a question, ‘Why do you want them enrolled here?’  My mother responded because you’re a Christian and so is your daycare.  After hearing my mother’s response, the director replied, ‘Then bring them’.  We were enrolled and attended for years, growing to love the director and her staff as family.  

I wonder if my mother knew her faith walk almost twenty years ago would benefit her youngest grandchild now.  My sister is in the midst of preparing to return to work and has been faced with almost the same dilemma of needing someone to keep her infant daughter as she does so.  She called the same day care we all attended years ago, early last week to see if there were any openings for her daughter. My sister and mother met with the director a couple days later, she told them when she heard the name of my niece she was enrolling her, no if’s, and’s or but’s about it; because we were family.  My niece was scheduled to begin on Monday, which is today.  As she begins her own walk, I believe she’s fulfilling his plan that he set in motion long before she was born and in his time all will be revealed…

Sincerely, 
DWIC2S

Memories

'Start children off in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.'  Proverbs 22:6
 
My mother made sure she and her children were at church as often as possible.  I remember when she made the decision to visit a church, her coworker at the time, invited us to.  At the time, I had no idea the impact that visit would make on my life.  For this church became the church I grew up in and has become my home church, which I return to quite often.   

The elders I met along the way helped mold me to be the person I am today.   Some probably didn’t know I would still be thinking of them as I mature in my walk with the Lord.  As, I’ve returned to my home church a couple times in the past month, I’ve realized how much I miss those that are no longer here.  I’m reminded of the motorcycle diva, along with her motorcycle gang ministering to the lost.  The beautiful lady who ministered at local hospitals by dressing as a clown, delivering cheer to the sick and every time I saw her she would hug me tightly.  The one my family, affectionately nicknamed ‘Purple’, because he was a recipient of a Purple Heart.  The gentle giant who played the guitar every Sunday during morning worship service and for a while led children’s church service with his wife.  I’m blessed to have these memories, and the ones I’m going to display, hold are very special to me …

When I was a young teen it seemed weddings were happening at my church like running water.  It was at one of these weddings, when one of the deacons told me I would be next.  Not only did he tell me I was next in line to be married, he would be the one to walk me down the aisle to my groom.  Needless, to say I was terrified; I was too young to get married.  Imagine my delight when the next wedding came and I wasn’t the bride.  The weddings continued to happen from time to time and even though I wasn’t the bride he would remind me when my time came, he’ll be right there to walk me down the aisle.  Even when my mother wedded five years ago, he told me to hurry up, so he can walk me down the aisle.  To this day, when I see him or get an update about him, the message is still the same…he’ll be walking me down the aisle.  

This memory is about someone, whom was called to glory years ago.  He had a gentle spirit and loved the Lord, even when faced with death.  What I remember most was his love of music and how he loved to hear my mother sing.  He and my mother sang this song over and over again.  When they sang, it was like a lullaby to my ears.  In the past few weeks, I thought about this song repeatedly and I couldn’t seem to remember the words.  I asked my mother and she found it online for me.  A week later, I awoke with this song on my mind and in my heart.  To my elated surprise, I remembered the words.  I don’t intend to forget them nor my memories any time soon...

Sincerely,  
DWIC2S

I'm Shouting!!!

Last week, two things happened I consider profound.  One, my mother gave her testimony at church while I beamed like the proud parent.  Second, bad weather happened in North Carolina at a Lowe’s store and amazingly everyone survived with no major injuries.  I told my girlfriend as we discussed, if it was me I probably would still be shouting.   At the time, I had no idea, how true my words would become a few days later…

I felt led to attend Good Friday service that evening at church.  I asked a couple friends and my mother, all had other engagements and were unable to attend.  Just when I made up in my mind I was attending by myself, I asked my sister if my nine month old niece could go with me.  Expecting her to say no, she surprised me and said yes.  I was elated and that's all I could think about during the day, my niece whom I call Lil Bit was going to church with me. 

The morning at work went by like a blur and the afternoon went even faster.  I told everyone I could think of, Lil Bit was going to church with me…  Evening finally arrived.  After watching her mother pack her bag and recheck it, we left for service.  My niece cried at the top of her lungs, to avoid going to sleep on the way there.  While driving I sang at the top of my lungs to get her to calm down, eventually I didn’t hear her crying anymore.   Instead I was greeted by her soft breaths of sleep.  I noticed the sky was turning gray and my main thought was to get to church before the rain came.  We made it before the rain began, I grabbed her and her bag and ran for the door.  I settled us into our seat while she was slumbering in my arms.

The service began and it was beautiful.  Lil Bit awoke after the first song and sat on my lap, looking around the sanctuary.  We sang and in between songs the pastor delivered his message.   More than halfway through, the lights flickered on and off.  At first, I thought it was a part of the service.  A few moments later, the security team announced there was a tornado passing and to get on the floor and take cover under the pews.  I did as I was told holding my niece in my arms, still not understanding what was happening outside.  Storms happen all the time, but tornadoes hardly ever touchdown in my neck of the woods, this is the thought going through my mind at the time.   While sitting on the floor seeking cover, we took communion.  We continued to sing praise and worship songs and asked to stay a while longer.  During this time we’re informed the tornado has moved past us.

A thought hit me, if we are being told about a tornado…my family is watching this on television.  I text my sister to let her know we are ok, she responds to inform me a tornado had been spotted and touched down in Westport.  Westport isn’t very far from where we are attending service.  I ask her to tell our mother we’re ok, she lets me know she already has.  I continue to hold my niece singing and praising the Lord.  After waiting for about 30 minutes I decided to head home, I had already been warned the highways near were closed and at a standstill because of the storm.  (Note: My mother taught her children as young as I remember; to always know more than one way to get home.  You never know when you have to take an alternate route home.) My mind is spinning of the alternate routes I can take, with my plan in mind I load my niece in the backseat once again and I proceed in blackness.  

The first alternate route I tried, I see a line of red taillights.  I turn around and try another route, and was greeted by the police who was directing traffic away from the area.  I can see the highways are at a standstill and my tears begin to flow.  By this time my niece is screaming at the top of her lungs and my joy is quickly fading; however, I’m still singing at the top of my lungs trying to get her to calm down.  Not because she’s crying, that’s the only way she knows how to communicate, it’s because I’m not sure if I can get us home.  

My phone is constantly ringing, from either my mother or my sister calling to check on us.  I tell my mother, I’m heading back to church and if I have to park in the parking lot to calm her, then that’s what I’ll do.  On the way back, I began to say Jesus, repeatedly which helped calm my spirit.  It was then I felt led to try another route I wasn’t very familiar with.  My niece is finally sleep and no longer crying at the top of her lungs.  I’m still seeing nothing but blackness, a sea of red taillights and lights of emergency vehicles.  I drive in the direction away from this, when over the hill I see the lights of a casino.  I immediately call my mother and tell her where we were, she calmly tells me how to get home.  I’ll never look at that casino the same again, for that night; it helped me in more ways than one.

I called my mother and told her I had to see her before I went to my sister’s for the night.  In the midst of all this, I’ve been told my home has no power, which meant I needed to stay someplace else.   My mother is waiting for me and is standing on the porch.  When I saw her standing there, my tears began to flow all over again and she held me.  She reminded me how blessed I was, and because of his protection we were spared.  After our moment, I left for my sister’s.  She meets us at the car and told me something, which made me feel better.  She knew her baby was safe and in good hands being with me.

We settle down for the night and the television is playing the news coverage of the storms.  As I watched, I realized I was too close for comfort as the storms and the aftermath happened.  The second route I planned to take was closed because some of the businesses were demolished and an eighteen wheeler was turned over in the middle of the road.  The last route which ultimately led me home, in the opposite direction more businesses were destroyed.  All I could do at that moment was give glory and honor to him, for keeping  us safe before, during and after the storm!!!  I’m still shouting and singing praises to him, for he is my Lord and savior, who has the final say!!! 


Sincerely, 
DWIC2S

Holy Week

I felt led to fast during Holy Week, this year.  I’m fasting from sunset to sunrise, with no meals or nothing to drink during this time and praying.  I began Monday evening, and I was excited to begin.  For I know the power of fasting and praying, so I couldn’t wait to see what was going to happen.  I was like a giddy child, smiling from ear to ear and relieved when I went to bed.  When I awoke the next morning, I woke up to stormy weather.  Oddly this wasn’t a deterrent for me; I kept full force ahead, praising God and giving him the glory.  Once my day began, things spiraled out of control; my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t gather my thoughts as fast as it was spiraling.  All I could do was say the name, Jesus, repeatedly and calmness soon enveloped me.  I continued fasting that evening and set out to try again.

Yesterday morning, I awoke excited the same as the day before.  Once again I was attacked, this time I felt worse than being attacked the day before.  Trying to calm my spirit and gain solace, I had to get my hands on the word and quickly.  The scripture that was spoken to be was Hebrews 11:1. ‘Faith is the substance of things hoped for…’  I repeated this verse over and over again.  Yet again, he calmed and soothed my spirit.  As my day progressed, I realized something.  

I realized this is the week my Savior, who was sent to save me from my sins, was being persecuted and executed.  Even though, he knew he would be betrayed, lied to and hurt by those he loved and trusted, he unselfishly continued on his journey.  He was humiliated and scorned, yet he gave me the most precious gift ever!!!  So, I’m going to continue to fast and pray, with the same excitement.  While I’m clinging to him more than I have before, I too will be attacked, that’s the enemy’s job.  As long as I continue to seek him, he will continue help me battle the attacks.  For he’s the only armor I have and need!!!  

Happy Easter, 
DWIC2S

Praise Will Confuse The Enemy

I've been singing praise and worship songs, seems like all my life.  I've sang some so much, I've added my own words and created my own version.   I've been singing these songs more and more, recently.  I've always listened to music while I'm at work, usually something soft and mellow.  A few months ago I switched to an online Gospel station.  So, I've been a singing cherub, lost in the words of the song ;).

In the last few days one song, raises my emotions to a level I didn't know I had.  When it comes on, I stop and think is this it, when it is, I'm like a kid on Christmas morning ;).  The words are simple...I have had my share my share of ups and downs, times when there was no one around, God came and spoke these words to me, praise will confuse the enemy...  The song is Praise Him in Advance by Marvin Sapp. 

This is my opinion about those few words.  Can it really be that simple?  To praise and worship the Lord, when things seem to be falling apart.  Not just praise him in the good times, but praise him in the bad times, as well.  With all this praising going on, it's sure to confuse the enemy.  Essentially, it's a weapon towards the enemy.  The enemy will not know how to attack, doesn't mean the attacks will cease.  They will continue to happen; however they will be less orchestrated.  So, for me I plan to keep praising and worshiping him in the good and bad times!!!

Issues

After discussing a situation over the weekend, I was asked this question...'If they don't have an issue with it, why do you?'  My first reaction was to lash out, but I held my tongue and responded with I'm human.  Which is true, I'm human and as a human being I have emotions... 

After a few moments, of my thoughts pondering the question, the Holy Spirit entered and reminded me of a church sermon from the previous week.  The pastor was telling us that if we begin to rely on God and put him first in our lives, things will begin to change and it will be noticeable changes.  He also stated things that didn't bother you in the past will begin to bother you or cause you to have issues with them, when this occurs it's a sign that you're being worked on by the Lord.  I thanked the Holy Spirit for speaking to me and calming my spirit.  Most importantly I'm thankful, he is working on me and things that didn't bother me once before, now don't sit well with me!!!

Yours truly,
DWIC2S

Strength

I receive daily devotions from an online site and lately it seems like they are right on time.  As if, my thoughts have been read and my questions answered.  Then again, that's what happens when you're a child of God, no matter what he's there and on time.

Today's message is entitled 'A Better Tomorrow', and dealt with healing after you've been wounded.  What hit close to home for me the most is the statement; which essentially states when a crisis arise you may feel you're at your weakest moment and a strength you didn't know you had is revealed.  I can relate to this statement, for life is a puzzle of highs and lows and during my lows is when I discover my unknown strength.  I'm thankful that I'm a child of God and his grace and mercy will endure for always!!!  It's because of him that my I have my strength and able to survive the lows when they occur. I ask you, what helps your strength when the unplanned happens?

Yours truly,
DWIC2S

The Difference In My Life

I just finished reading a book, which got me to thinking about the subject matter discussed.  The story revolved around two individuals on other ends of the spectrum, both questioning the outcome of their lives.  It was an emotional read, that left me wondering how I would react if it were I in their shoes.  Would I have reacted the way they did or would I have reacted differently...my mind began spinning out of control on my thoughts.

The answer came to me, after a moment.  I know what has been the driving force and difference in my life and I'm truly blessed to have her in my life.  She's been my protector from the moment of our introduction over 30 years ago.  She fought for me and my siblings every chance she got and even now that we're all grown, she's still fighting for us.  She's had my heart from day one and forever will, for she offers me strength and encouragement when it's needed the most.  The difference in my life is my God fearing and praying mother!!!  I'm so thankful for her and I'm doing my best to let her know how much she means to me and the impact she's had on my life, I hope I'm doing justice.

So I ask what is the driving force in your life, who has made a difference in your life and helping you do what you can to survive?

The Story of DoingWhatICan2Survive

It's amazing how something is laid upon your heart and at the time you have no idea why.  That's what happened several months ago when I came up with a name for my new email account.  I knew I didn't want to use my name, as I've done in the past.  So I contemplated for a moment and came up with DoingWhatICan2Survive.  These few words have stuck with me and I think about them often, asking myself what am I doing to survive.  I ask you, what are you doing to survive?

Yours truly, 
DWIC2S