As I sit to write this, I'm having a hard time formulating my words. What I'm about to say is difficult for me, but this is my journey and I feel it's time to talk about. This is my fire walk...
For so long, I had issues with my stomach and was told by medical professionals it was nothing serious and to watch my diet. I followed their advice and still had issues. I began to think my symptoms were unbelievable, so why bother talking about them.
October 2009, things took a turn for the worse. I suffered a painful stomach attack and sought medical attention at a local emergency room. They were unsure of my problem and referred me to a gastroenterologist if my symptoms returned. They did in fact returned two days later, prompting me to call the gastroenterologist. I was immediately scheduled to have a medical test the following week. I had the test and was diagnosed with having a peptic ulcer. I was relieved to learn the cause of my painful symptoms and began taking medication daily to combat my ulcer. March 2010, I learned my ulcer was healed and I had to continue to take medication daily to keep it at bay, which was a small scarifice to me. I was willing to do what I had to, so I wouldn't have another ulcer.
As the months went, my stomach stilled bothered me from time to time. For a while I thought it was due to stress, cause my stress level was off the charts at the time. Then I would have several days of relief and think all was well. March 2011, I had my first nausea and vomiting episode, which I contributed to sinus drainage. I thought it was because of my current stomach issues, what else could it have been? After all, I knew what I had and I knew I was healed, so it never dawned on me there was either something else wrong or my ulcer had returned.
Fast forward to June 2011 and I learned my daily medication wasn't approved to be refilled at the pharmacists. I called the doctor's office and was told I needed to be seen in the office in order to renew my prescription, so I scheduled an appointment. During my appointment, I discussed my symptoms with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it could be a number of things. She also warned me I may have to endure several kinds of tests before we knew what the problem was. She suggested another kind of test, to see how my stomach functioned. Most important of all, she also encouraged me to inform her when I had another sick spell.
A few weeks later I had the stomach functioning test. The result was I had a delay in the upper portion of my stomach, so another type of medication was prescribed. Which I had to take an half hour before each meal. At first it began to work, after a couple of weeks it was no longer working. Then I had another sick episode while at work, causing me to have to leave. I called the doctor's office and was told if the problems persisted I would need to go to the emergency room. That wasn't something I wanted to hear, thankfully I began to feel better and returned to work the next day.
More weeks past and my nausea symptoms weren't getting any better. I was nauseous from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed. I had another sick spell at work and I stayed at work, that was a long and tough day. Somehow I survived. I called the doctor's office and talked with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it was time to have the same test I had almost two years ago. She wanted to make sure I didn't have another ulcer. I scheduled the test and a week later, I had the test. I was once again relieved to learn I didn't have another ulcer, but the doctor wanted to have another test done on my gall bladder. A test he described as a stress test for the gall bladder.
I had the gall bladder stress test about a week later. Once the test was done, I had a feeling the news wasn't going to be good. A couple of days later, I learned my gall bladder was no longer functioning at full capacity and the next step was to have surgery. I was referred to a surgeon and scheduled an appointment with him the following week.
Once again, hearing I had to have surgery were words I didn't want to hear. I cried like a baby, for most of the day. The last thing I wanted was to be cut on yet again and have nothing but scars to show for it. This wasn't my first time at the surgery rodeo, so I knew what to expect and that in itself caused me to be adamant not to have surgery ever again. Well those thoughts soon went out of the window, as my crying moment passed. I accepted what was ahead of me and if this helped me to feel better, I was all for it.
I met with the surgeon and discussed with him what I had experienced over the last few months. He informed me I was very sick and surgery was the best option. The surgery would be done on an outpatient basis, and I should be home that evening. Thank goodness I had my time to accept this fact. Surgery was scheduled exactly a week later. I had my pre-op appointment a few days later to meet with an anesthesiologist and nurse about my surgery. During this appointment I told the anesthesiologist I usually get sick from anesthesia, he informed me there was medicine for that. I had my doubts about not getting sick, but I pressed on.
Surgery day arrived and I was cool, calm, collected and ready to get the show on the road. The show began on time and from what I was told surgery went well. It was after surgery while I was in recovery, when I faced an uphill battle. I did indeed get sick from the anesthesia as I predicted, causing me to vomit. That's the last thing I needed to do, especially with four fresh new incisions on my stomach. I was pumped full of more medicine to keep me sleeping and after two hours in the recovery I was admitted to the hospital for observation. When I finally awoke I was told I was being admitted, which took the little wind I had left out of my sail. Reason being, I knew if I stayed I would have to spend the night in the hospital alone. Given the fact I had an eventful afternoon, I could only imagine what would happen during a one night stay in the hospital. I began praying that I wouldn't have to spend the night, thankfully my prayers were answered. I was released from the hospital cause I was able to eat and drink.
My recovery began on the ride home, it had been almost twenty years the last time I had surgery and I had forgotten some things. I forgot the pain, soreness and tenderness I could feel. I was quickly reminded on the car ride home. My recovery is still ongoing, it's three weeks later and I'm still sore and tender at times. Even though, I have began to resume some of my activities, I still have to take it easy. As I was reminded at my post-op doctor's appointment, the surgery I had is considered major surgery. It may be four to six more weeks before I can tell a major difference. I also have to combat the itching I feel in my incisions from time to time. I know itching is a good sign and means I'm mending, healing.
Something else I'm facing, is the fact I have four new scars on my stomach. In my mind I know scars are superficial, but the human side of me feels differently. I wonder if I can still be considered beautiful with a stomach full of scars?
As I continue my mending process, I pray this was indeed my last surgery. I also pray that even though, I have a stomach full of scars I will be called and feel beautiful again one day. I also pray now that my bad gall bladder is gone I will begin to feel better physically. I'm also praying nausea will continue to make its exit from my life. Most importantly I pray I continue to mend and heal.
Sincerely,
DWIC2S
