Doing What I Can...

As of date, I've officially completed my first paid editing assignment and I'm thrilled.  I'm also ecstatic about future projects...  I'm currently assisting with writing and editing a couple of short stories and in September I will be working on another editing project.  My business cards are on the way and I hope to gain more potential clients in the next few weeks.  In the process of this, I will update my blog to incorporate my services.

Moving Forward

I'm finally at a point, where I can move forward with an idea I've had for a while.  As, I've stated in previous posts, I love to read.  I also, love to discuss what I read.  What I don't particularly don't care for is reading a book, short story or poem and it hasn't been properly edited.  Knowing this and how much it irks me, I've decided to start an editing business, DWIC2S Editing Services.  To date, I have two clients under my wing and hoping to add more.  I'm being obedient and faithful about my new endeavor and can't wait to see what's next.  I will continue to post notes, thoughts from time to time.  Hopefully and prayerfully you'll continue with me on this journey...

Sincerely

DWIC2S

My Own Strength

I recently heard a song similar to my post's title, and it rang so true to me.  While I have the late, great Whitney Houston to thank for the words, I can truly identify with what she sang.  The past couple of years has been one test after another and through it all I've learned my own strength!  On this journey I learned to rely more on my faith and my heavenly Father.  Which got me to wondering, did I have to survive these tests in order to grow closer to him and he reveal my inner strength.

See surviving is something I've always done, what other choice did I have?  There was a time I thought I knew better than most and even the one who designed my life.  As I've stated in a previous post, he got me straight and since I continue to learn my own strength.  The difference now is, he's a part of every decision and move that I make.

As I sit and pen this post, I'm surviving another test and some may consider a dark moment in life.  Last weekend I received word about two deaths.  One was my grandmother, who is my biological father's mother and the other was the close friend of a very close and dear friend to me.  I'm dealing with several emotions at the moment, I have to be honest about my grandmother.  True she was my grandmother and I loved her as such; however, I don't consider us as being close.  To strain the situation further, my siblings and I haven't been close to our biological father for several years.  Of course there is more to the story, which I'll delve into in the future.  At the moment it's not about him, it's about paying respect to my grandmother, for I recognize, if it were not for her, there may not be a me.  As I prepare for services this week I'm relying heavily on the strength he gives me, which becomes my own!!! 

Sincerely,
DWIC2S

Full Steam Ahead

As I rang in the new year I set some goals for myself.  In the new year, I hope to keep the stamina and press forward.  One thing I have to remind myself of, there is no room for fear in order to succeed.  So, with that being said I'm pressing forward with an endeavor that has been on my mind for a while.  In the next few weeks, I'll be revamping my blog and revealing more, stay tuned....

My Plan, His Plan

I have a tendency to over react or quickly react to situations as they arise.  I can honestly say, I've gotten a lot better by not doing so over the past few months, but I'm still a work in progress.  Thankfully, my Lord and heavenly father knows this and is helping me to react less more and more.  It took me a long while to realize I was reacting this way and he grabbed my attention...

I'm a planner at heart.  I can't function if I don't plan my day out.  I can plan the heck of anything or everything; and have issues when things didn't go according to my plan.  I even planned my life before I had a chance to live it; getting married by a certain age, having children, buying my first house, getting my education and buying my car and the list can go on and on.  As I was busy planning I forgot to do one essential thing or better yet I thought I knew better, I didn't seriously pray about my plans.  Yes, I prayed, but if God took too long doing what I thought he should do, I was quick to react and do it my way.

Last summer, I'm not sure who was more fed up with my quickness, him or me, either way I was placed in a situation to get my attention.  As I went through this, my foundation was shaken to its core.  As, I've stated in a previous post, my days were filled with autonomy and my nights were mainly sleepless.  The more I tried to survive on my own, the more I sank.  I did my best to save face at all cost, because I didn't want to have to talk about it.  He knew better than I and placed angels in my life to offer me love, encouragement and support.  One angel who has been in my life since she was born, kept asking me if I was alright.  It was at that moment I knew I had to get myself together; if not for me, then for her. 

So, I began to pray and give all my anxiety and worries over to him.  As I prayed, I relied on him for his wisdom in finding a therapist.  I was blessed to find one and she helped me work through my issues in a non judgmental way.  I began to start my days with daily devotions and asking for his guidance throughout my day.  I repeatedly asked for forgiveness of all my sins and asked for his help and guidance to discontinue these acts.  He began to minister to me in ways I hadn't previously paid attention to.  I attended church more frequently and I'm so glad I did, for it was at church I had an epiphany.  The pastor was preaching about unshakable faith and as I sat and listened the more it dawned on me that my faith had been shaken.  With a tear stained face, I continued to listen and vowed to renew my faith in my savior.  I wanted to have unshakable faith, faith in things unseen. My faith continues to grow stronger and more faithful everyday. 

Now that I look back on that experience of my life, it's easier to do so.  Time has passed and I've had time to mend, heal.  I've also had time to reflect on my actions and take responsibility for them.  I'm continuing to pray daily,  be guided by him and rely on him for he is the ultimate planner of my life.  Most importantly, I've learned valuable lessons, life is more livable and joy filled with his guidance.  I will also say this, I'm not naive to think my life will be attack free.  I know they will continue to happen, but I also know it's for his purpose and plan!

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

My Fire Walk

As I sit to write this, I'm having a hard time formulating my words.  What I'm about to say is difficult for me, but this is my journey and I feel it's time to talk about.  This is my fire walk...

For so long, I had issues with my stomach and was told by medical professionals it was nothing serious and to watch my diet.  I followed their advice and still had issues.  I began to think my symptoms were unbelievable, so why bother talking about them.

October 2009, things took a turn for the worse.  I suffered a painful stomach attack and sought medical attention at a local emergency room.  They were unsure of my problem and referred me to a gastroenterologist if my symptoms returned.  They did in fact returned two days later, prompting me to call the gastroenterologist. I was immediately scheduled to have a medical test the following week.  I had the test and  was diagnosed with having a peptic ulcer.  I was relieved to learn the cause of my painful symptoms and began taking medication daily to combat my ulcer. March 2010, I learned my ulcer was healed and I had to continue to take medication daily to keep it at bay, which was a small scarifice to me.  I was willing to do what I had to, so I wouldn't have another ulcer.

As the months went, my stomach stilled bothered me from time to time.  For a while I thought it was due to stress, cause my stress level was off the charts at the time.  Then I would have several days of relief and think all was well.  March 2011, I had my first nausea and vomiting episode, which I contributed to sinus drainage. I thought it was because of my current stomach issues, what else could it have been?  After all, I knew what I had and I knew I was healed, so it never dawned on me there was either something else wrong or my ulcer had returned.

Fast forward to June 2011 and I learned my daily medication wasn't approved to be refilled at the pharmacists.  I called the doctor's office and was told I needed to be seen in the office in order to renew my prescription, so I scheduled an appointment.  During my appointment, I discussed my symptoms with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it could be a number of things.  She also warned me I may have to endure several kinds of tests before we knew what the problem was.  She suggested another kind of test, to see how my stomach functioned. Most important of all, she also encouraged me to inform her when I had another sick spell.

A few weeks later I had the stomach functioning test.  The result was I had a delay in the upper portion of my stomach, so another type of medication was prescribed.  Which I had to take an half hour before each meal.  At first it began to work, after a couple of weeks it was no longer working.  Then I had another sick episode while at work, causing me to have to leave.  I called the doctor's office and was told if the problems persisted I would need to go to the emergency room.  That wasn't something I wanted to hear, thankfully I began to feel better and returned to work the next day.

More weeks past and my nausea symptoms weren't getting any better.  I was nauseous from the time I woke up until the time I went to bed.  I had another sick spell at work and I stayed at work, that was a long and tough day.  Somehow I survived.  I called the doctor's office and talked with the nurse practitioner and she informed me it was time to have the same test I had almost two years ago.  She wanted to make sure I didn't have another ulcer.  I scheduled the test and a week later, I had the test.  I was once again relieved to learn I didn't have another ulcer, but the doctor wanted to have another test done on my gall bladder.  A test he described as a stress test for the gall bladder.

I had the gall bladder stress test about a week later.  Once the test was done, I had a feeling the news wasn't going to be good.  A couple of days later, I learned my gall bladder was no longer functioning at full capacity and the next step was to have surgery.  I was referred to a surgeon and scheduled an appointment with him the following week. 

Once again, hearing I had to have surgery were words I didn't want to hear.  I cried like a baby, for most of the day.  The last thing I wanted was to be cut on yet again and have nothing but scars to show for it.  This wasn't my first time at the surgery rodeo, so I knew what to expect and that in itself caused me to be adamant not to have surgery ever again.  Well those thoughts soon went out of the window, as my crying moment passed.  I accepted what was ahead of me and if this helped me to feel better, I was all for it.

I met with the surgeon and discussed with him what I had experienced over the last few months.  He informed me I was very sick and surgery was the best option.  The surgery would be done on an outpatient basis, and I should be home that evening.  Thank goodness I had my time to accept this fact.  Surgery was scheduled exactly a week later.  I had my pre-op appointment a few days later to meet with an anesthesiologist and nurse about my surgery.  During this appointment I told the anesthesiologist I usually get sick from anesthesia, he informed me there was medicine for that.  I had my doubts about not getting sick, but I pressed on.

Surgery day arrived and I was cool, calm, collected and ready to get the show on the road.  The show began on time and from what I was told surgery went well.  It was after surgery while I was in recovery, when I faced an uphill battle.  I did indeed get sick from the anesthesia as I predicted, causing me to vomit.  That's the last thing I needed to do, especially with four fresh new incisions on my stomach.  I was pumped full of more medicine to keep me sleeping and after two hours in the recovery I was admitted to the hospital for observation.  When I finally awoke I was told I was being admitted, which took the little wind I had left out of my sail.  Reason being, I knew if I stayed I would have to spend the night in the hospital alone.  Given the fact I had an eventful afternoon, I could only imagine what would happen during a one night stay in the hospital.  I began praying that I wouldn't have to spend the night, thankfully my prayers were answered.  I was released from the hospital cause I was able to eat and drink.

My recovery began on the ride home, it had been almost twenty years the last time I had surgery and I had forgotten some things.  I forgot the pain, soreness and tenderness I could feel.  I was quickly reminded on the car ride home. My recovery is still ongoing, it's three weeks later and I'm still sore and tender at times.  Even though, I have began to resume some of my activities, I still have to take it easy.  As I was reminded at my post-op doctor's appointment, the surgery I had is considered major surgery.  It may be four to six more weeks before I can tell a major difference.  I also have to combat the itching I feel in my incisions from time to time.  I know itching is a good sign and means I'm mending, healing.  

Something else I'm facing, is the fact I have four new scars on my stomach. In my mind I know scars are superficial, but the human side of me feels differently.  I wonder if I can still be considered beautiful with a stomach full of scars?  

As I continue my mending process, I pray this was indeed my last surgery.  I also pray that even though, I have a stomach full of scars I will be called and feel beautiful again one day.  I also pray now that my bad gall bladder is gone I will begin to feel better physically.  I'm also praying nausea will continue to make its exit from my life.  Most importantly I pray I continue to mend and heal.

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

A Tribute

Twenty eight years ago on this day, I was blessed with a precious gem!!!  A precious gem that has become more and more precious to me, a precious gem that has taught me numerous things and a precious gem that I love with all my heart.   This precious gem is my youngest and only sister; I’m so thankful and blessed to have her in my life!!!

As she made her debut into the world, I was miles away.  Unfortunately I can’t recall my feelings of being told she was here, but I can recall my feelings I had when I saw her for the first time.  I remember getting out of the car, returning home from being away for what felt like years and being greeted by our mother who was holding this precious gem in her arms.  When my eyes lay upon hers, I fell in love instantly and have been ever since!!

To my sister and precious gem this is all I have to say on your twenty eighth birthday, I love you and wishing you the happiest of happiest birthday wishes!!!!  I have nothing but love and admiration for you, my precious gem!!!!

Love, 

Your Sister