Doing What I Can 2 Survive - Part II

Well I find myself at the same exact crossroads I was at a year ago, around the exact same time.  If someone had told me this would be happening to me yet again, I wouldn’t have believed them for a minute.  I’ve strived to heal and mend from a year ago, that it would be unfathomable for this to be happening again.  As I sit and type, I can attest, it is happening yet again.  The circumstances are different, but the pain is pain.  A real pain, I wish on no one.

A year ago, several events happened causing my mind and emotions to spin out of control, but one event sent me into an abyss I didn’t know existed.  For weeks, I was numb to my surroundings and surviving on autopilot.  My days were filled with autonomy and my nights were sleepless and long.  Tears became my companion, in an effort to alleviate my pain.  God placed angels in my life to offer me encouragement; I can admit it now, there were times when I wasn’t too receptive to them.  Slowly but surely I began to see the light, with his help and guidance.  He began to mend my wounds, he bandaged those that needed it and I set forth with my healing.  As I came out on the other side, I began to breathe and appreciate all his gifts he had to offer me.  Even during my time of unrest, he began preparing me and speaking to me about things I didn’t think would happen for me. 

It’s amazing how good you feel when you have a shot at a little piece of happiness.  For a few months, I felt like my world was stable and I too finally had been blessed with a blessing one reads about.  My smile was wider and my heart was overjoyed.  All the while I was thankful and giving God the glory for bringing this into my life, especially at the time he did.  I even believed he was speaking to me and guiding me through.  Maybe he is and is still guiding me, one thing I have learned…he knows all and reveals things in his timing.  I loved what I was feeling and when the feeling came to an end this past weekend, my emotions were on overload.  This time around, I allowed myself to express my feelings immediately, instead of waiting as I did last year ago.  Once again, he’s placed angels near me to offer me encouragement.  This time around, I’m more receptive to them and thanking them for being my venting board as I work my way through my maze of pain.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds.  I may be fine, I may not.  I do know my faith in my Father hasn’t wavered; he has a purpose and a destiny for me.  Most importantly, no one can stop the blessings he has prepared for me and preparing me for.  I’m going to continue to rely on him, be patient and be led by him, for he hasn’t brought me this far, to leave me now…

Yours truly,

DWIC2S

Happy Father's Day

Father’s Day is a day designated to celebrate fathers and this year I’m especially looking forward to celebrate mine.  I was grown when I was blessed with my father over five years ago.  He had met, fell in love with and married my mother.  Not only did he love and marry my mother; he immediately loved me, my brother and sister as his own.  He affectionately began referring to us as his children.

For so long, I thought I would never know what it is like to be loved, encouraged and adored by my father; but I’ve been blessed with him and I've truly grown to love, respect, cherish and appreciate him!!!  Even though, he’s only been in my life for a few years, it seems as though he’s been a part of my life since the beginning.  He’s become my ally on the battlefield as attacks happen.  If I need prayers, he’s one my prayer warriors I rely on.  If I’m in need, I know he’ll do his best to supply.   I know if he can, he would move mountains to make sure I had everything I desire.  I’m so grateful the Lord found favor to bless my life with you.  I’m wishing you the happiest of happiest Father’s Day, this year!!

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

My Passion For Reading

I’ve always love to read, either for school or for my reading pleasure.  As a child I would read and was swept away as the stories unfolded before my eyes.  Some stories I remembered almost detail by detail, others are a little more muddled.  I even enjoyed a handful of books I had to read for school.  As, I grew older, my pleasurable reading took a hiatus because I felt I had more important things to accomplish …;)

A few years ago, I decided to read again.  I searched for what felt like forever, to find a book I truly enjoyed.  Finally one day, I received an email from a friend about an author’s new book being released later that summer.  It sounded interesting and I requested it from the library (Note: At the time I refused to buy books, if I could check them out at the library for free;). Times have since changed, which is another story, for another day…).  The book was excellent and peeked my interest in another character whom I was introduced to while reading.  I waited a few months before I investigated the other character’s story; I was elated when I learned his story was apart of a series.  Once again, I found myself requesting books from the library and my reading frenzy began.  

I read the prologue and first chapter of the first book in the series and didn’t understand what the big hype was about.  I turned the page to chapter two and I was hooked, baby!!!  It took me a few days to finish book one, and I was chomping at the bits to get book two in my hands, which I read in one night.  Book three I read just as fast, by the time I made it to book four I was on a roll.  Book five had me on pins and needles as I read, so when I made to book six I was surprised the story centered on another character, which I met in book one and made appearances throughout the series.  The series is still going and so is my reading frenzy!!!

I told this story, to inform of my joys of reading and how I found myself passionately reading again.  I also love discussing what I read and writing book reviews.  This month I'll be posting a few book reviews.  My first book review on my blog will be on Fast Break by Regina Hart.  Please keep an eye out...

Sincerely, 

DWIC2S

Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

This bible verse has been on my heart for days and I wasn’t sure why.  I thought it was because this verse has been my saving grace numerous times.   Especially last summer when Satan was busy attacking me and my faith was shaken.   I didn’t know which way to turn, but God knew.  He knew to place in the right place at the right time, to hear a sermon on how important unshakable faith is.  I remember the pastor delivering his sermon and as he spoke, it was as if he was speaking directly and only to me.  I had an aha moment, sitting and listening with tears running down my face, I knew I had to rebuild my faith in him. Which I immediately began doing.

As I look back on that memory, I’m thankful he had me in a place to hear that sermon.  Since then, I’ve often prayed and asked him to allow me to offer the same faithful words to others if they needed.  My time came yesterday, when I received some news from a dear friend.  As we talked, she informed me she didn’t know if she no longer had faith.  I began to tell her of my aha moment and lead her to this bible verse.  I also reminded her, Satan is always going to be on the attack for followers and believers of God, and one way he attacks is to shake our faith.  Causing us to give up on our faith in him, but the devil is a lie!!  I encouraged her, to begin to rebuild her faith.  I suggested she begin to talk to him, as her children do with her, for he’s always listening to his children and be patient to see what happens next.

While I know I’m a continued work in progress, I also know he’s delighted to have me as his child!!!  I’m thankful he gave me an opportunity to share how magnificent his faithfulness is.  As I mature, I pray I can continue to nurture my faith in him, for it’s truly the substance of things hoped for…

Sincerely,

DWIC2S

Faith Walks

As a child of God, we’re sometimes encouraged to walk by faith.  The bible is full of these stories.  At the time, we have no idea what can happen, it’s because of our faith we endure.  Faith walks can have long lasting effects and in his timing all is revealed… 

I have many recollections of faith walks my mother took and teaching her children to do the same.  This is one of those walks, I’ve been remembering more and more lately.  At the time my mother was faced with many decisions as her life was on an ever ending cycle of change.  She was recently separated from my father, a mother of three children and jobless.  All she was skilled at was providing a loving home for her children and husband.  She made the pain staking decision to learn a trade in order to get a job to provide for her family.  This meant she had to find a place or someone to care for her three children.   

She began her search and found a daycare center, not too far from our home by the name of King’s Daycare and to her relief it was a Christian daycare.  She spoke with the director about getting all three of us enrolled.  For a moment the director hesitated, and then she asked my mother a question, ‘Why do you want them enrolled here?’  My mother responded because you’re a Christian and so is your daycare.  After hearing my mother’s response, the director replied, ‘Then bring them’.  We were enrolled and attended for years, growing to love the director and her staff as family.  

I wonder if my mother knew her faith walk almost twenty years ago would benefit her youngest grandchild now.  My sister is in the midst of preparing to return to work and has been faced with almost the same dilemma of needing someone to keep her infant daughter as she does so.  She called the same day care we all attended years ago, early last week to see if there were any openings for her daughter. My sister and mother met with the director a couple days later, she told them when she heard the name of my niece she was enrolling her, no if’s, and’s or but’s about it; because we were family.  My niece was scheduled to begin on Monday, which is today.  As she begins her own walk, I believe she’s fulfilling his plan that he set in motion long before she was born and in his time all will be revealed…

Sincerely, 
DWIC2S

Memories

'Start children off in the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.'  Proverbs 22:6
 
My mother made sure she and her children were at church as often as possible.  I remember when she made the decision to visit a church, her coworker at the time, invited us to.  At the time, I had no idea the impact that visit would make on my life.  For this church became the church I grew up in and has become my home church, which I return to quite often.   

The elders I met along the way helped mold me to be the person I am today.   Some probably didn’t know I would still be thinking of them as I mature in my walk with the Lord.  As, I’ve returned to my home church a couple times in the past month, I’ve realized how much I miss those that are no longer here.  I’m reminded of the motorcycle diva, along with her motorcycle gang ministering to the lost.  The beautiful lady who ministered at local hospitals by dressing as a clown, delivering cheer to the sick and every time I saw her she would hug me tightly.  The one my family, affectionately nicknamed ‘Purple’, because he was a recipient of a Purple Heart.  The gentle giant who played the guitar every Sunday during morning worship service and for a while led children’s church service with his wife.  I’m blessed to have these memories, and the ones I’m going to display, hold are very special to me …

When I was a young teen it seemed weddings were happening at my church like running water.  It was at one of these weddings, when one of the deacons told me I would be next.  Not only did he tell me I was next in line to be married, he would be the one to walk me down the aisle to my groom.  Needless, to say I was terrified; I was too young to get married.  Imagine my delight when the next wedding came and I wasn’t the bride.  The weddings continued to happen from time to time and even though I wasn’t the bride he would remind me when my time came, he’ll be right there to walk me down the aisle.  Even when my mother wedded five years ago, he told me to hurry up, so he can walk me down the aisle.  To this day, when I see him or get an update about him, the message is still the same…he’ll be walking me down the aisle.  

This memory is about someone, whom was called to glory years ago.  He had a gentle spirit and loved the Lord, even when faced with death.  What I remember most was his love of music and how he loved to hear my mother sing.  He and my mother sang this song over and over again.  When they sang, it was like a lullaby to my ears.  In the past few weeks, I thought about this song repeatedly and I couldn’t seem to remember the words.  I asked my mother and she found it online for me.  A week later, I awoke with this song on my mind and in my heart.  To my elated surprise, I remembered the words.  I don’t intend to forget them nor my memories any time soon...

Sincerely,  
DWIC2S

I'm Shouting!!!

Last week, two things happened I consider profound.  One, my mother gave her testimony at church while I beamed like the proud parent.  Second, bad weather happened in North Carolina at a Lowe’s store and amazingly everyone survived with no major injuries.  I told my girlfriend as we discussed, if it was me I probably would still be shouting.   At the time, I had no idea, how true my words would become a few days later…

I felt led to attend Good Friday service that evening at church.  I asked a couple friends and my mother, all had other engagements and were unable to attend.  Just when I made up in my mind I was attending by myself, I asked my sister if my nine month old niece could go with me.  Expecting her to say no, she surprised me and said yes.  I was elated and that's all I could think about during the day, my niece whom I call Lil Bit was going to church with me. 

The morning at work went by like a blur and the afternoon went even faster.  I told everyone I could think of, Lil Bit was going to church with me…  Evening finally arrived.  After watching her mother pack her bag and recheck it, we left for service.  My niece cried at the top of her lungs, to avoid going to sleep on the way there.  While driving I sang at the top of my lungs to get her to calm down, eventually I didn’t hear her crying anymore.   Instead I was greeted by her soft breaths of sleep.  I noticed the sky was turning gray and my main thought was to get to church before the rain came.  We made it before the rain began, I grabbed her and her bag and ran for the door.  I settled us into our seat while she was slumbering in my arms.

The service began and it was beautiful.  Lil Bit awoke after the first song and sat on my lap, looking around the sanctuary.  We sang and in between songs the pastor delivered his message.   More than halfway through, the lights flickered on and off.  At first, I thought it was a part of the service.  A few moments later, the security team announced there was a tornado passing and to get on the floor and take cover under the pews.  I did as I was told holding my niece in my arms, still not understanding what was happening outside.  Storms happen all the time, but tornadoes hardly ever touchdown in my neck of the woods, this is the thought going through my mind at the time.   While sitting on the floor seeking cover, we took communion.  We continued to sing praise and worship songs and asked to stay a while longer.  During this time we’re informed the tornado has moved past us.

A thought hit me, if we are being told about a tornado…my family is watching this on television.  I text my sister to let her know we are ok, she responds to inform me a tornado had been spotted and touched down in Westport.  Westport isn’t very far from where we are attending service.  I ask her to tell our mother we’re ok, she lets me know she already has.  I continue to hold my niece singing and praising the Lord.  After waiting for about 30 minutes I decided to head home, I had already been warned the highways near were closed and at a standstill because of the storm.  (Note: My mother taught her children as young as I remember; to always know more than one way to get home.  You never know when you have to take an alternate route home.) My mind is spinning of the alternate routes I can take, with my plan in mind I load my niece in the backseat once again and I proceed in blackness.  

The first alternate route I tried, I see a line of red taillights.  I turn around and try another route, and was greeted by the police who was directing traffic away from the area.  I can see the highways are at a standstill and my tears begin to flow.  By this time my niece is screaming at the top of her lungs and my joy is quickly fading; however, I’m still singing at the top of my lungs trying to get her to calm down.  Not because she’s crying, that’s the only way she knows how to communicate, it’s because I’m not sure if I can get us home.  

My phone is constantly ringing, from either my mother or my sister calling to check on us.  I tell my mother, I’m heading back to church and if I have to park in the parking lot to calm her, then that’s what I’ll do.  On the way back, I began to say Jesus, repeatedly which helped calm my spirit.  It was then I felt led to try another route I wasn’t very familiar with.  My niece is finally sleep and no longer crying at the top of her lungs.  I’m still seeing nothing but blackness, a sea of red taillights and lights of emergency vehicles.  I drive in the direction away from this, when over the hill I see the lights of a casino.  I immediately call my mother and tell her where we were, she calmly tells me how to get home.  I’ll never look at that casino the same again, for that night; it helped me in more ways than one.

I called my mother and told her I had to see her before I went to my sister’s for the night.  In the midst of all this, I’ve been told my home has no power, which meant I needed to stay someplace else.   My mother is waiting for me and is standing on the porch.  When I saw her standing there, my tears began to flow all over again and she held me.  She reminded me how blessed I was, and because of his protection we were spared.  After our moment, I left for my sister’s.  She meets us at the car and told me something, which made me feel better.  She knew her baby was safe and in good hands being with me.

We settle down for the night and the television is playing the news coverage of the storms.  As I watched, I realized I was too close for comfort as the storms and the aftermath happened.  The second route I planned to take was closed because some of the businesses were demolished and an eighteen wheeler was turned over in the middle of the road.  The last route which ultimately led me home, in the opposite direction more businesses were destroyed.  All I could do at that moment was give glory and honor to him, for keeping  us safe before, during and after the storm!!!  I’m still shouting and singing praises to him, for he is my Lord and savior, who has the final say!!! 


Sincerely, 
DWIC2S